She’s talking to her boyfriend the whole time and it sort of creeped me out a litte. She’s awkward as hell, talking about how strange her boobs are (they’re a little far apart) and her accent is weird and southern but there are British flags in the background. I am basically confused but still touching my penis.

Dude, I wanked to this at least ten years ago. you can tell because of how blurry it is. It’s like nostalgic porn– it’s even in sepia, almost!

That looks like a very cozy blanket. I mean, tits, I like tits and stuff.

It sounds like it’s hailing in her room, but mute it and enjoy.

She likes her own tits almost as much as I do.

Some girls look really fucking bored while they diddle themselves. The socks make up for it.

No way, I can hardly see your scars.

Also, shit does she ever know how to spread her legs.

I would play checkers with you, girl.

YOU FUCK THAT FUCKING MONKEY YOU MONKEY FUCKER

Her ass reminds me of my own ass. I’m not sure what to think about that. Please don’t let this stop you from enjoying the video– we have a nice ass.