Some girls look really fucking bored while they diddle themselves. The socks make up for it.

YOU FUCK THAT FUCKING MONKEY YOU MONKEY FUCKER

I don’t know what that thing she’s riding is called, but I’m calling it a sybian, because when I don’t know what something is I apparently just call is a sybian.

Saggy tits can have a nice shape to them. This girl is a little awkward, but cute no less.

Today I learned that green and pink go pretty well together.

Sometimes you don’t actually need to take your clothes off to make a pretty compelling argument for my penis.

This girl spends almost 20 minutes posing and teasing, and it looks more like this is the uncut footage she wanted to use to make a shorter video, the way she constantly stops to make minor adjustments. She doesn’t need much more practice for a very promising career in softcore porn.

This is your payoff after dealing with the tease in that last video. I hope you like tits because this girl has got some.

Warning: Incredibly irritating audio (today’s theme!)

If I were online on whatever camwhoring site this took place on, I would most definitely have pitched in, if only in the hope that during the resulting show she would explain why the fuck her nipples are so shiny.

Today’s theme is irritating noises. I once scoured the Internet specifically for “hiccup porn” and found an alarmingly vast array of the stuff, and as hilarious as that was, it’s even funnier when the girl still tries to be sexy. That she gets walked in on at the end is icing.